A RIPPLING RIVER RESCUE PRODUCTION
The Testicle Festival
13 animals, 1 vet. 1 fake errand. Zero regrets.
Some days at Rippling River Rescue are peaceful. Birds singing, alpacas humming, goats doing whatever goats do when they think no one is watching.
June 16th was not one of those days.
June 16th was the Testicle Festival.
The Calm Before the Storm
Meet Butters, Pinot, Zin, and K-9 and Port at 10:50am on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday morning. Look at those faces. Not a single care in the world. Just five goats enjoying the sunshine, completely unaware that in approximately 90 minutes, their lives were about to change in a very specific and permanent way.
We didn't tell them. We're not monsters.
(We're a little bit monsters.)
Enter Dr. Dana
Before we go any further, we need to introduce the real hero of this story: Dr. Dana.
Dr. Dana arrived with her staff, her equipment, and an energy that said: we do this all the time and we're going to make it fun. She kept the jokes coming, read every room before she entered it, and somehow made a day that could have felt heavy feel like a weird, slightly surreal party.
She also, at a critical moment, displayed the emotional intelligence of a seasoned diplomat. More on that shortly.
The Prep Room: Kingston's Fashion Moment
By late morning, things were getting official. Carlos and Santana’s procedures were complete without incident and Kingston, Kirby, and Greyson were called in for prep — and Kingston arrived in his signature look: a sock on his face.
This is not a fashion statement. Alpacas, when stressed, will spit with the accuracy and enthusiasm of a major league pitcher. The sock is a protective measure. For us. Kingston's feelings about the sock were not surveyed.
The Squad: One Last Moment of Solidarity
Kirby, Kingston, and Yoda — three amigos, moments before it all began. We'd like to believe they shared a meaningful look here. A silent pact of brotherhood. A last hurrah.
Yoda looked completely serene. Either he's very zen or he didn't fully understand the agenda. We respect both.
Gus Takes His Post
Every good surgical suite needs a watchdog. Literally.
Gus, our resident canine supervisor, took up his position beside Kirby and did not move. No medical degree. No credentials whatsoever. Absolute unit of emotional support. We're not saying Gus saved the day, but we're also not not saying that.
The Part Where We Hold Our Breath
Here's where we have to be straight with you for a second.
Kirby stopped breathing.
Not for long. Not permanently, obviously — you can see him right there, alive and extremely fluffy. But there was a moment — a real, scary, time-slows-down kind of moment — where everyone held their breath right along with him.
Dr. Dana and her team responded immediately and without panic, which is exactly what you want from people in that situation. They handled it with total competence and kept the energy steady. Ben, our co-founder, was there. He held it together. Gus held his post.
And Kirby came back.
By 12:30pm he was recovering in the shade, looking like a very tired but very alive alpaca who had just been through something and knew it. We may have cried a little. We're not confirming or denying.
Kirby is fine. Kirby is home. Kirby has no idea what all the fuss was about.
The Diplomatic Water Errand
Here's the thing about co-founding an animal rescue: you end up with feelings about specific animals that are hard to explain to people who haven't done it.
Butters is a goat. He is also, technically, a goat that we helped bring into this world back in January. Which is a different thing entirely.
So when Butters ambled up for his turn and Dr. Dana glanced over at Ben — she knew. She'd been watching this man all day. She knew exactly what was about to happen to his face.
"Hey Ben," she said, with the casual authority of someone who has definitely done this before. "Could you run and grab some waters for everyone?"
Ben got in the car. Ben drove away. And approximately four seconds later, Ben absolutely knew what was happening. He drove away anyway, because sometimes the kindest thing you can do is accept the graceful exit someone hands you.
He came back to find Butters fine, recovering, and completely indifferent to the whole situation.
K-9’s Official Statement
K-9 would like it known that he is not okay with any of this.
When asked — gently, lovingly — whether we had in fact taken his balls, K-9 with back turned, delivered a vocalization that can only be described as aggrieved.
He had no further comment at this time.
(He's fine. He's just got a flair for the dramatic. He fits in well here.)
Evening: The Subdued Dinner Hour
By evening, the goats gathered for dinner. They ate. They were chill. Perhaps slightly less enthusiastic than usual — which, honestly? Fair. Everyone had a big day.
Thirteen animals walked in. Thirteen animals made it to dinner. That's the whole job.
Why We Do This
Castration isn't the glamorous part of rescue — but it's one of the most important. It means our animals can live together safely, without the stress and aggression of intact males competing for dominance. It means healthier, calmer, happier herd dynamics. It means fewer accidental pregnancies and fewer animals needing rescue in the first place.
It also means Butters gets to grow up in a herd that works. And that Ben gets to keep his dignity, at least on paper.
We are so grateful to Dr. Dana and her team for their skill, their humor, and their impeccable read of the room. You made a hard day feel manageable. We couldn't do this without you.
And to Kirby — buddy, you scared us. Don't do that again.
Want to support the animals of Rippling River Rescue — including Kirby, who would very much like you to know he survived?
Albarino the sheep before shearing - a magnificent woolly boulder with horns and an opinion about everything
RIPPLING RIVER RESCUE - SHEARING DAY 2026
Glow-Up Season
“He had opinions. He always has opinions.”
Every spring, our little herd reaches peak floof. The fiber has grown all year, the weather is warming, and the animals are ready — whether they know it or not. This year, shearing day looked a little different at Rippling River Rescue. We called in the professionals. And honestly? It was long overdue.
We used to do it ourselves
Pharro, Dan and Trek - Pre shear, Peak Floof Achieved.
For the first couple of years, we handled shearing ourselves. We had clippers. We had determination. We had absolutely no idea what we were doing.
The alpacas were patient with us. The sheep was less patient. The results were creative — think abstract art, but in fiber form. Nobody looked ridiculous on purpose. It just sort of happened every single time.
“The results were impressionistic. the alpacas forgave us. Mostly.”
This year, we finally called in a professional shearing team. Watching them work was humbling in the best possible way. What took us an entire chaotic day took them hours. What we left lumpy and uneven, they left clean, comfortable, and — dare we say — stylish.
Albarino
Our only sheep that requires shearing. Named after the Spanish wine grape, Albarino arrived looking like a woolly boulder with horns and a lot to say. Post-shear, he strutted out looking lean, slightly annoyed, and ready for summer. He had thoughts about the whole experience. He always does.
Carlos and Santana
Carlos, the alpaca with the legendary topknot. Every year we wonder: will the shearers finally tame it? They did not. Carlos's signature crown survived yet again, and he is absolutely insufferable about it.
Kingston
Before shearing, a magnificent dark cloud of fiber. After shearing, a sleek and slightly bewildered alpaca who seemed genuinely surprised by the existence of his own legs. We love him dearly. He is handling it.
Pharro, Dan and Trek
The ensemble. Before: a drifting, fluffy cloud of white wool. After: three extremely slim, extremely skeptical alpacas who gave us a collective look that said "we'll allow it... this time." Dan appears to be taking it personally. Trek is pretending nothing happened. Pharro has already moved on.
More than a haircut
Shearing isn't just about looks — it's essential to the health and comfort of every animal in our care. Alpacas and sheep can overheat dangerously if their fiber isn't removed each spring. A professional shearing means it's done quickly, safely, and with as little stress as possible for the animals.
The fiber we collect doesn't go to waste either. We're working toward a future where Rippling River Rescue fiber becomes something you can actually wear — warm, sustainable hats made right here from our herd. We're not there yet, but every shearing day gets us one fleece closer.
Help us keep the herd happy!
Running a rescue takes more than love. It takes feed, vet care, fencing, professional shearing, and showing up every single day. If Albarino's face moved you even a little, here's how to get involved.
Every dollar goes directly to animal care.
Volunteer with us!
Want to spend a morning at the farm? We'd love the help — and yes, you'll get to meet everyone in person, topknots and all. Reach out at info@ripplingriver.org to get involved.
“These animals make us laugh every single day - and they deserve every bitof care we can give them. thank you for being part of this adventure.”
Summer Snacks =
Happy Herd 🥕🍉🌽
Summer is in full swing at the sanctuary, and thanks to all the amazing produce donations, our animals are living their best lives!
The goats are crunching away on lettuce like it is potato chips. The pigs? Total watermelon fanatics—nothing makes them happier than a big, juicy slice on a hot day. The chickens strut over for zucchini rounds and corn cobs, while the horses and sheep are all about crisp apples and carrots. Basically, it’s a farmyard buffet every day, and everyone has a favorite!
Fresh fruits and veggies aren’t just healthy—they make mealtime fun. Watching the animals sniff, nibble, and savor these summer treats is such a joy. Their little happy dances (and messy faces) say it all.
Huge thank you to everyone who’s shared their gardens, orchards, and farmers’ market finds with us this season. You’re keeping our residents full, healthy, and oh-so-happy. 💚
